


Panic

by Casskane



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drowning, F/M, Near Death Experiences, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28652988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casskane/pseuds/Casskane
Summary: An easy bounty goes sideways for Din and the reader. Description of character 'death'. Description of panic/anxiety attack. No spoilers.  Fluffy ending to soothe our nerves. If anyone thinks I need to add any more warnings please let me know.
Relationships: Din Djarin/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Panic

**Author's Note:**

> Another therapeutic piece. Please don't read if you are triggered by drowning, mentions of anxiety or character death. Self care is important.

The water was rising fast, her hands were numb from the cold but that didn't slow her work. She knew any hesitation or slip up could cost her and, more importantly to her, Din their lives. This dank farrik bounty had been cursed from the start.  
They had been forced to leave the Crest on Navarro for repairs. Peli had offered to watch the kid. Since the bounty was supposed to be straightforward, they figured it wouldn't take long and accepted. The kid was happy to play in Peli's work shop and honestly she was looking forward to being alone with Din.  
Over the last few months they'd grown closer. Since Din had comforted her when she was sick they'd began to accept comfort in each other's presence. They would reassure each other with little touches. They would sit close together with the baby across their laps, happily cooing up at them. As their physical closeness grew, she became more emotionally open with him too.  
She didn't mind him seeing her pace the ship, when her mind wouldn't let her rest. She let him watch on the days when she felt she had to check and double check her work around the ship. Normally, just the though of someone seeing this side upset her. It was hard to explain to people how this part of her betrayed her. If she was out hunting a bounty, she handled split second decisions with ease. In battle, she was deadly, as she able taken in everything that was happening, yet keep her mind calm to act. She thrived under pressure. It was the moments in between when things were quiet that she struggled with she felt restless, forgot things easily, made careless mistakes. Then the anxiety would kick in. Life, even the simplest things became overwhelming. She would wake in the night, a crushing worry spreading throughout her.  
One night, she awoke and began to dress. By the time she had, Din was stood in the cargo hold waiting for her. He didn't speak just simply handed her a staff, opened the ramp and lead the way outside. They had landed in a field filled with short, fragrant grass. The moon was bright overhead but it was still dark. Din used the cover of this darkness to land a blow to her arm. His movements were controlled enough that he could hit her without causing harm. Instinctively, she hit back landing a blow to his chest. They fought for a while. They returned to a ship without speaking a word. She slept soundly that night.

They'd found the bounty pretty quickly. Unfortunately, he had sold information to a local gang in exchange for protection. That's how they had become trapped in the hold of an old piece of scrap ship while it slowly slipped under the water. Unlocking the door was their best hope. She had way more experience dealing with ships systems like this that Din did. He instead turned his attention to finding another way out. The filtration system in his helmet allow him to retain some air so he was able to stay under the water longer to look for a way out. He would periodically re-emerge next to her to breath as she worked. He was under when she found the right protocol she had to run. She reached out for him in the water. He took her arm and came up right next to her. There was barely any room for them left to breath. He guessed they had seconds left before the water rose up over them.  
"I've got it. I just need to run this programme then we're out. A few minutes max. We'll get out of here." she squeezed his hand. He wasn't sure if it was to reassure him or herself. She smiled at him, through her fear, as the water threatened to cover her face. Din knew exactly what he had to do. Taking a last deep breath before the water consumed him. He dipped down into the water giving himself room to removed his helmet. Through the murky water he saw her face contorted in shock. He pulled her close, trying to place the helmet on her head. She shock her head, pushing it back to him. He tapped on the device she was using then pointed to her hoping she would understand. She stilled, allowing him to place the helmet on her head. She felt it close around her head. There was a whirring sound as the water was pumped out. She able to take a breath. Not that she could take in much of a breath as she sobbed. She glanced at the progress bar in her hand. It was moving steadily but right now she wasn't sure if they would have enough time. There was nothing she could do now, they would just have to wait. Abandoning the equipment in her hand, allowing it to float away, freed her hands up to touch Din. Gripping his face in her hands, she tried to take in as much detail as possible. So many times she had sat and though about what Din would look like. His hair was dark, just as she'd though. It complimented his skin tone. She smiled in spite of herself as she never for a second though that he would have a moustache. She brought her thumb up to run it across his upper lip. He smiled, Maker it was the most beautiful thing she had seen, his grip around her waist tightening pulling her in closer. His head turned in her grip to press a kiss to her hand. He stayed there, with his lips pressed to her skin for a long while, his eyes screwed shut. She couldn't tell in the water but she thought he was crying too. She cried freely as savored his touch. Silently praying that it wouldn't be the last time she felt it. She felt his body jerk suddenly. He was beginning to struggle to breath. Trying to pull the helmet off she started to freak out when she realized it was stuck. His hands found hers stopping them. Holding up his vembrace he pointed to it. She realized he had locked her in. Pulling her head to his, he pressed his forehead to hers. His body jerked again. She wrapped her arms and legs around him pulling him as close to her body as possible. She wasn't sure if she was providing comfort for him or for her. Or in some weird way she thought if she held him close enough he couldn't be taken from her. Either way he held her back just as tight. She screamed his name as his body convulsed. His grip weaken and eventually he was still completely. Her own breathing was becoming laboured as she let go of him in order to see his face. His lifeless body floated away from her. She cried in anguish as she shook him. She shook him as hard as she could, willing him to wake up. In a rush they were both pulled upward as the door above them finally opened. In the chaos she managed to grab Din and get them both to the surface. Fortunately, there was a pontoon close to them. It was a struggle but she managed to pull him out of the water. Grabbing his arm she used his controls to unlock his helmet. Throwing it off she went to work. Laying Din on his back, she pulled out her knife, cut off his breastplate and prepared to give him CPR. She watched his chest rise as she breathed air into his lungs. Using the last of strengthening she rhythmically pushed on his chest. It feel like time slowed as she repeated this process. She had no idea how long she had been doing it but she knew stopping was not an option. Unfortunately, she was human and began to slow. She became angry at herself for her weakness. Then she became angry at him. How could he do this to her? How could he leave her like this? In that moment her love for him turned to hate. In frustration she slammed her fists down on his chests and began to cry again. Between the sound of her own crying and the waves hitting the wood she didn't register the sound next to her at first. Not until Din began to cough louder, water spilling from his mouth as he did. She moved back to give him room as he rolled onto his side to bring up more water. She froze, not quite believing what she was seeing. After a while the coughing subsided, replaced by heavy breathing, eventually that calmed until she was just left with one very tired, very wet but very much alive Mandalorian. She wept with joy as she pulled his head into her lap. "Are you ok?!" she searched his face for any sign that would betray his words, if he tried to lie to her. "No, but I will be." he answered honestly. "Thank you." He reached up to cup her face with his hand. She placed hers over it and turned to place a kiss to his palm. Once Din was fit enough he had put his helmet on and they had signalled for help. It arrived in the form of a local fishing vessel.  
It had been weeks since their improptude deep sea expedition. They hadn't spoken about it since that day.  
Things were off for a few days once they got back but they quickly fell back into the rhythm on life the Crest. She did her best to ignore the bantha in the room. Until tonight. Her chest ached. She could feel her heartbeat at every pulse point. Her limbs were beginning to feel numb. Dread swelled within her and threatened to swallow her. She climbed out of her cot. Putting some clothes on she headed out of the ship. Before she got to end of the ramp she hear the familiar sound of Din's boots behind her. Silently she stopped to let him catch up, he fell into step with her as they moved clear of the ship. Din tapped a few a buttons at his wrist and the area was flooded with light. Turning to her, he raised his hands and dropped his leg back into a fighting stance. Without missing a beat she charged him, he easily deflected the two punches she threw at him, as she knew he would. As he blocked the last one she hooked his arm through hers. Throwing herself forward, she allowed her momentum to throw him over her back to land unceremoniously on the ground as she followed the move through landing on her hands, rolling over on her shoulder before landing on her feet. He rolled on his back facing her, he propped himself up on his elbows to look at her then slumped flat again in defeat. She realized she might have been a little rough with him. "Sorry." She breathed as she sat cross legged next to him. "It's ok. I suppose I had it coming." when she didn't correct him he continued. "Am sorry. I thought you were ok after..." he trailed off. 'I died, horrifically in front of you?' she thought.  
She could see his was struggling so she helped him. "That's not what's bothering me Din. Don't get me wrong that was..." it was her turn to trail off. "...but you came back. The thing that's getting to me is the helmet..."  
He interrupted her "I know you were mad but I knew I had to buy you some time. You were the one who could open..."  
"It's not that." she cut him off. "You put it back on. You always told me you couldn't." She almost whispered the last part as she realised she sounded like a child who'd caught their parent in a white lie.  
He chuckled. He actually chuckled at her. At that point she wanted to throw him again. "Am sorry." he caught himself. "Of all the things to worry about. I didn't realise that's what you would be thinking of. I never did explain did I?"  
"No." she snapped.  
He propped himself up again to face her. "In Mando'a we have a word 'Riduur'. Some people assume it means 'wife' or 'husband'...someone we marry or pledge our life to. We are allowed to take our helmets off in front of them. We don't advertise that fact as people would know when we were most vulnerable."  
She looked down at him seemingly unsure of where he was going with this. "Do we have to get married now?"  
He tried not to read anything into her tone. "No, see the translation is slightly off. 'Riduur' can also mean someone we share a life with. Well, we work together, we live together...we sort of have a 50 year old baby together." She laughed at that."I'd say that means you count as my riduur. So I didn't break my oath."  
She visibly relax. "Does that mean you could take your helmet off right now?" she mused.  
"Yes..." he paused unsure if he was ready to deal with the answer to his next question. "Do you want me to?"  
Instead of answering she smiled, pushing his shoulder lightly making him lay down. She lay down, curling into his side. She yawned before answering "Not tonight." He wrapped his arms around her. She slept soundly that night.


End file.
